So one of the things I didn’t realise about having a baby (one of the many, many things that I didn’t know apparently) is how little time you actually have a ‘baby’ baby for. A tiny human potato who stays still, sleeps all day and drinks endless milk – exhausting of course but really you just have to cuddle and feed them while ideally people feed you tea and cake. From 6 months on, I’ve realised you basically have a ‘pre-toddler’ who has an inbuilt radar for the most dangerous thing in any given room and a desire to chuck themselves off anything. You suddenly have to work out how to put actual food into their faces and handle their many opinions on this.
We recently returned from Baby TGE’s first holiday (in which he was spoilt rotten by his Grandparents and had more room to crawl about than he could ever have imagined. Needless to say, he’s outraged to be home) and on the way home we stopped at Exeter service station which it turned out was some kind of club for vaguely desperate Mums of 7 month olds. One Mum, after watching Baby TGE demolish his lunch (it was a good food day, these are rare) burst out that her 7 month old won’t eat food and she was finding weaning really hard. Another was concerned that her baby’s head was still a bit flat. I’m aware it sounds like I set up some kind of stall for baby woes but actually it’s just that ‘Mum club’ thing where you can start talking to anyone if they have a baby and it’s fine. After assuring those Mums that I was sure all was OK and they were doing ever so well I headed off to the family room to get Baby TGE ready for the remainder of the journey home.
The last lady I met was changing her daughters’ nappy as I was attempting to do the same to Baby TGE – but these days getting him to lie still is like some kind of MMA fight involving elbows (mine), biting (him) and crying (probably me). Watching this sweaty, pooey (him, honest) fight unfurl I saw this Mum looking a bit unsure.
Her (concerned, watching Baby attempt to stand and hurl himself onto the floor): “My 7 month old isn’t sitting yet..”
Me (wrestling a dirty nappy off a standing Baby TGE): “Lucky you!”
Her (worried): “Do you think that’s ok?”
Me (sweating now): “Yes, I’m sure that’s fine”
Her (very worried): “I’m 5 months pregnant…I’ll have 2 under 2! That’ll be fine won’t it?”
Me (pinning Baby TGE with an elbow and hoping he doesn’t wee on me): “Oh! Congratulations, yes sure, it’ll be like having twins!”
Her (full blown horrified): “TWINS?? I can’t handle twins! Oh my God, do you really think it’ll be like having twins??”
Me (clean nappy on Baby TGE – I win!): “It will be NOTHING like having twins. It will be the opposite of having twins. It will definitely be fine”
I mean, I have no idea if it’ll be fine but I imagine it will and sometimes you just really need to hear that don’t you? Especially if you’re 5 months pregnant with a 7 month old…Gosh we had different experiences of having a 2 month old.
So here are the things I know about my particular 7 month old. I imagine this will all change by 8 months…
BABY TGE’S FAVOURITE THINGS (In no particular order)
- Porridge. Porridge is the best food in the world and should be eaten for every meal apparently. The correct response to food which isn’t porridge is unbridled outrage and FURY! That is until you realise it’s banana or spag bol which are the only acceptable alternatives. Occasionally to raise my hopes he will lick a tomato, chew an avocado or crunch a bit of cucumber before normal service is resumed.
- Crawling. Ideally quickly towards danger of course – a fireplace, off a bed, stairs, into something at head banging height.
- Standing and then suddenly letting go of what you’re leaning on. FUN!
- Being gently beaten with a pillow… yes really. I don’t know why he enjoys this but apparently it’s hilarious.
- Being held upside down. I blame Mr TGE for this one, he started this and now it’s the go to activity to get a giggle.
- Sneezing into my open mouth. He has a talent for this.
- Twinkle Twinkle Little Sodding Star. All day, every day.